Welp, it appears to be time to step down from the running because I'm officially out of the WalkingCityOCT! Which is too bad QuQ I've been so invested in this tournament that it hurts. A lot. But to be expected.
First things foremost, many best wishes to Miss Cranberry-Soap, my lovely lovely opponent this round! I had the absolute pleasure of facing you and working with your OCs! And best of luck to the remaining four! Super jealous of you all, ahaha, but you stood victorious and for that I seriously applaud you! ouo
I would like to apologize, however, for my behavior when I found out the results. I basically just went mega introverted and spent the past 24 hours being miserable and sleeping. Before anyone gets the wrong impression, I'm not mad or upset at anymore... just myself. I was going full charge since Round two, which ended up being pushed into my round three time so I didn't really have much of a break. That was my choice, however. I felt it was only fair and appropriate that I had completed Part three and four of my previous round before touching any of the six parts of my Round Three.
Although I tackled 8 parts in the time frame we were given, I was very pleased and impressed with myself that (despite my sacrifices such as not sleeping often, ack, don't do this at home kids) they were all moderately the same in quality. And everyone really seemed to enjoy them, which meant the world. Thank you all for your lovely comments. The served me better than any caffeinated liquid I injected myself with these past few months, ahaha.
While I am still incredibly sad, and will likely be for a while (a lot of that stems on personal anxiety) I'm going to do my best not to shut myself off. I'm afraid that if I do people will think I'm having negative feelings towards them, which I am not. I want everyone to be happy. But I will be sad for my loss. And I will be sad for the reasoning's for my loss. I tried very hard to take the critiques I've been given the past few rounds and improve my round all together while producing work that did everyone's OCs justice and made people proud. And while I did accomplish this... unfortunately I did too much, and that weighed heavily against me. (As well as Scarecrow's lack of personal character development, and which I did that on purpose, unfortunately the hints as to why in my story were not clear enough, so that totally falls on me).
Some of my sadness also stems from my inability to perceive things correctly. It's sort of ironic, because that was one of the conflicts I gave Lias in my round. Hearing/reading something, and knowing what it means, but deep inside you still perceive it wrong. And you only struggle to convince yourself that "No, I know what this means, stop taking it the wrong way" and you do anyways, it's a vicious cycle and it just leaves you hating yourself. Based on my crit it was pointed out that I had too much plot, which I understand and can agree with. Because I tried so hard to adapt OCs and do them justice it appears my overall story became difficult to follow. Now, where that was lost in translation in my brain was; "Sorry, Shadow, you slaved over this and worked too hard, that's what cost you." Again. I understand this is not what anyone meant by any means. But there is still that mental glitch that just can't seem to... deal with that, I suppose.
So again, not upset at anyone, no one did anything wrong, no one tried to hurt me, most of the anxiety I'm experiencing falls on me. If I appear hurt or distant for the next while I just want everyone to know that I'm still recovering and fighting with my own thoughts... but I'll be ok!
Gosh I'm crying again just typing this, aaaah, I thought I was finally ok enough to say this without being sad. Ahaha, haaaah.
For the next week I'll just be doing my own thing (which is... probably nothing, actually, I dunno what I'm going to do) and stare at the first week of R4 in case of a second wind, but that's just me still being too attached like some creeper at a salad bar. That made no sense whatsoever, but, so is my life. Ahaha
I love you all, thank you for making this experience, no matter how draining and sad, a wonderful one.